My Reality
by boys-love-queen
Summary: Set right after the sports festival. Kachhan's bullying didn't stop after Izuku's acceptance into UA it only got worse. Izuku tries to be strong for All Might, however Izuku's mind is racing faster and faster that one day he stands on the rooftop of UA. Themes of bullying, violence, and suicide. Rating might change.
1. My R

Set right after the sports festival. Kachhan's bullying didn't stop after Izuku's acceptance into UA it only got worse. Izuku tries to be strong for All Might, however Izuku's mind is racing faster and faster that one day he stands on the rooftop of UA. Themes of bullying, violence, and suicide.

Follows Watashi no R (My R) BNHA PV - by Lycoperdon on youtube. And Just like in this video, I did change some of the translated lyrics to fit the story. Ex girl to boy, braids to curly.

This in my first BNHA fic so please don't judge too harsh, would love some helpful criticism. This is a oneshot that might turn into a full story I'm undecided if I want to continue further. Just let me know what you think and tell me if you want my to continue.

~~My Reality ~~

 _When I was just about to take off my shoes on the rooftop,_

 _I found someone already there before me—a boy with curly hair._

 _Despite myself, I called out to her: "Hey, don't do it please."_

 _The words just kind of slipped from my mouth._

"Woah!"

"Kacchan that's SOOO awesome!"

"I wish I had a quirk like that!" I hear all of my friends scream in excitement.

"What an amazing Quirk!"

"It's a flashy Quirk just right for a hero. Right, Katsuki?" My preschool teacher asked.

I gazed in wonder to my best friend Katsuki Bakugo, aka Kacchan. "Kacchan, that's awesome! I wish I had a Quirk like that!" Kacchan looked at me and smiled and said. "I'm amazing Izuku!"

 _It didn't really matter to me either way._

 _It just didn't sit right with me that someone got there ahead of me._

"Did you know that Izuku's name can be read as Deku?" exclaimed Kacchan.

"Woah Kacchan you can read?" One of his friends said.

"Of course I can read, I'm awesome!" Kacchan said with a toothy grin. "Deku means the one who can do nothing! It fits him! He has no Quirk, he's Quirkless!" He screamed.

"Deku!"

"Deku!"

"Quirkless!"

 _The boy with curly hair told me his story—_

 _the kind of story one probably has heard before._

" _I thought we were meant for each other._

 _I just really wanted him to like me back."_

"That's mean, Kacchan! Don't you see that's he's crying? If you keep going, I-I-I'll never forgive you!" my voice trembled as I scream at who I thought was my best friend.

"Even though you're Quirkless… you're pretending to be a hero, Deku?" Kacchan states as he starts to beat me up. Punch, kick, punch, punch, kick. Ever since my fourth birthday and my Quirk hadn't develop, Kacchan had been bullying on me it wasn't fair!

 _Are you kidding me?! The nerve you have_

 _to get here before me for such a lame reason!_

"Since you're all third years, it's about time for you to think seriously about your future. I'll pass out handouts for your future plans now, but you're all pretty much planning to go into the hero course, right?" My teacher stated, my classmates start around me as I am sinking into my chair further keeping my eyes glued to my paper.

"Teacher, Don't lump us all in the same group! I'm not gonna be stuck at the bottom with the rest of these rejects!"

"Oh, if I remember correctly, you want to go to UA High right, Bakugo?"

"UA High? That National School?"

"Its was in the top 0.2% this year , you know!"

"Their acceptance rates always really low, too!"

Oh no, I scream in my head, I cover my hands in my face and try to melt into my desk even further..

"I aced the mock exam, I'm the only one at this school who could possibly get into UA. I'll definitely surpass All Might and become the top hero! My name'll be inscribed on the list of top earners!" Kacchan ranted.

"Oh yeah, Midoriya wanted to go to UA, too right?" my teacher stated as I looked at him in horror. Why, I thought, why did you say that and why did you say that when Kacchan was talking?! There was a moment of silence in the classroom before my whole class bursts out in laughter. I look around and my classmates and the room is spinning, afraid of getting sick I look down at my desk again and shut my eye. All I hear is their laughter echoing inside of my head, their belittling stares and sadistic smiles. I can feel Kacchan's anger directed at me.

"HEY DEKU! You're below the rejects! You're Quirkless! How can you even stand in the same ring as me?!" Kacchan screams at me. I search the classroom for the teacher, but when I find him, he's smiling. He's not going to do anything… again. I hate this I hate how powerless I am and how everyone thinks its okay to bully me because I don't have a Quirk. "What the hell can you do? You're Quirkless!" The bell rings, and thankfully Kacchan stops for now.

 _You're upset because you can't have what you want?_

 _You're lucky enough that you've never had anything stolen from you!_

Everyone is leaving the classroom as I start to back up. I have to get out of here before Kacchan gets back. Just as I was putting my notebook in my backpack, it was ripped out of my hand, by none other than Kacchan.

"We're not done talking yet, Deku."

"Hey Katsuki what you got there?" One of Kacchan friends ask. Kacchan waves my notebook around. "Hero Analysis for the Future? Seriously that's ridiculous!" He laughs.

"It's fine just give it back!" I plea. The life drains from my face when I see Kacchan use his fire Quirk on my notebook, literally punching my notebook to ashes. Kacchan sees my eyes widen and smirks and throws my notebook book out the window to the ground two floors lower.

"Most top first-string heroes have stories about them from their school days. I want the shine of being to be called the only student to make it into UA from this mediocre city junior high school. I mean, I'm a perfectionist." Kacchan grabs my right shoulder and started to burn my jacket with his quirk. "So anyways, don't apply to UA, nerd." I stare at Kacchan with fear in every fiber of my being. I am rooted to the floor as I hear Kacchan and his friends leaving. "If you wanna be a hero that badly, there's a quick way to do it. Believe that you'll be born with a Quirk in your next life and take a last chance dive off the roof!" I spin around in horror at Kacchan did he really just say that? I watch as he and his friends walk away laughing.

" _I feel better now that I've talked about it,"_

 _the boy with curly hair said, and disappeared._

"Idiot! If I really jumped, that would mean you instigated a suicide! Think before you speak!" I said quietly as I stare at my burnt notebook being nibbled on by the koi fish which tank it landed in. "That's not fish food, stupid…. That's my notebook." I hugged my notebook closely to my chest as I slide down the wall crying my heart out.

" _All right, I'm gonna do it today," I thought,_

 _but just when I was about to take off my shoes,_

 _I found a short boy there,_

 _and I ended up calling out to him again._

 _The short boy told me, about how lonely he feels in his class._

" _Everyone ignores me. Everything's stolen from me._

' _I don't belong anywhere," he said._

"I'm home." I whispered.

"Izuku!? I was just about to call I was starting to get worried. Nothing happened did it?" My mother said.

"Ah no, I just took the long way home that's all mom."

"Oh thank goodness, well hurry up Izuku. I made your favorite Katsudon!" My mom said with a cheerful grin.

 _Are you kidding me?! The nerve you have_

 _to get here before me for such a tame reason!_

 _Despite all that, you're still loved at home,_

 _and there's always dinner waiting for you, right?_

" _I'm hungry," the short girl cried, and disappeared_.

'Dear Past Izuku,  
So many things has happened since the sludge monster attack. I got a Quirk do you believe it! I met our hero, All Might, and long story short he is the reason we have a Quirk right now. It will get better so stay strong.' I write on a piece of paper, it was an assignment for Present Mic to write a letter to your past self and tell them what to expect in their future life as a hero. I scoffed at the last sentence I wrote. I crumple the letter and throw it in the bin. "I can't lie to myself or my past self, It doesn't get better, it only gets worse." I whispered as I lie my head on my desk. I study my wrist, Kacchan grabbed me there during class this morning and I have a hand shaped burn. It hurt, but it felt good. I eyed at the box cutter I had in my pencil holder on my desk. I grabbed it without thinking, and pressed it against my wrist and drew the blade up against my flesh. The pain was exhilarating, the pressure was lifted off of my shoulder that I didn't know I had. The ecstasy feeling didn't last as long as I hoped and was filled with guilt…. What had I just done? I quickly grab banganges I had received from recovery girl and wrap my wrist tightly. I stare at the blade that I had just cut myself with, I stare and stare and my mind is racing.

"Izuku? Sweetie? It's late why don't you work on that tomorrow?" My mother's voice echoes in my once silent room.

"Yea mom, I'll finish this sentence and I'll head to bed."

"Alright, I love you, have a good night."

"I-I love you too mom." I say as I fight back the tears that are already falling.

 _Just like that, I spoke to a few of them_

 _and talked them out of it,_

 _while I myself can't share my pains with anyone._

I cut, cut, and CUT! The number of scars that are self inflicted now outweigh the number I had received at the entrance exam and at the sport festival. Cutting deeper and longer than I have ever done before….NO I scream in my head. That feeling isn't here anymore, that few moments of bliss, where did they go? I want that back please. God please give me that bliss back, if you can hear my plea now, please just give it back!

 _For the first time, I've found_

 _a boy who has the same kind of problems as me._

 _I met this boy wearing a yellow cardigan_

 _after I've seen a few of them._

Iida and Uraraka had asked if I wanted to eat lunch with them today, I declined saying I was going to the roof to get some fresh air after Eraserhead's lesson, they nodded in agreement.

"We will see you in PE then Midoriya." Iida said.

"See you later Deku!" Uraraka beamed.

"Okay. Goodbye Iida. Goodbye Uraraka." I said with bravado, trying not to let them know what I'm about to do. I turn to the exit and start to walk up the stairs. I pull my sleeve down, so that the fresh bandages from this morning aren't seen by students that walk by.

" _I came here, hoping to erase_

 _the bruises that keep increasing_

 _every time I come home," he said._

With each step I remember, trying to find hope in all of this. However, as I hear the echo of my footsteps in the empty stairwell, three more realities, three more truths, three more fears come to mind.

 _The words just kind of slipped from my mouth._

 _It didn't really matter to me either way._

 _But I ended up saying to him_

 _something even I myself didn't quite believe in:_

" _Hey, don't do it please."_

I'm face to face with the door to the rooftop, my hand shakes as it reaches for the door. I searched and I searched but the fears outweigh the hopes. The cold metal of the door handle penatrances my being. A set of eyes flash in my mind, one grey and one turquoise. I smile that is the only hope that could break this fear.

 _Aah, what should I do?_

 _I can't stop this boy._

 _I don't have the right to stop him._

 _But even so, just go away from here._

 _It's too painful for me to look at you._

I walk towards the fence at the edge of the building, "I have one regret," I say aloud "I never got to tell him my feelings, I never got to say goodbye."

" _I won't do it today, then,"_

 _he said as he dropped his gaze, and disappeared._

I study the fence, simple chain link fence, pretty easy to climb over. I start to climb. "Shoto Todoroki, I like you, I think I love you, I don't know how or when but I fell in love with you. I know we don't know each other well. But I can't help it."

 _There's no one here today._

 _It's just me, myself and I._

 _No one can get in my way._

 _No one would get in my way for me._

My toes hanging off of the ledge. I grab my envelope out of my jacket and rip some of my hair out and stuff it inside. My green hair nestled with a note, I seal it with a quick wipe of my tongue. Placing it in my breast pocket, making sure the lettering is visible.

 _Taking off my cardigan,_

"All Might. I am so sorry!" I sobbed, "Hopefully you will find someone more worthy of carrying One for All"

 _uncurlying my hair,_

"Mom I am so sorry! You didn't do anything wrong, you were the best mom I could've asked for." I beamed.

 _this short boy_

"Iida.. Uraraka, I'm sorry your were great friends!"

 _is going to jump now_

"And Shoto Todoroki" I screamed "I love you, and I am so sorry I didn't get to say goodbye." tears rolling down my face I don't bother to wipe them off. "I am so sorry." I jumped.

 _and be free._

"Midoriya!"


	2. What's a Soulmate?

Follows Tododeku 3 "What's a soulmate?" by Saihara on youtube.

 _What's a soulmate?_

"Midoriya!" I swear I hear Todoroki scream cutting thru the air whistling past my ears at an alarming rate. God why are you so cruel? I see the ground closing in faster and faster, but everything was going in slow mo. I can hear horror filled screams I can see students pointing at my body in free fall, I can see students shutting their eyes, I hear someone scream "get recovery girl now", and teachers rushing towards me. I look towards the sky at the sound of fire. My eyes widen, Todoroki was chasing me.

 _It's a… well_

I can feel my bones shatter as I hit the ground, the pain the extensive amount of pain coursing thru my body. I black out, but not before I feel the brisk, stinging pain of crystallized air that hovers my boy.

 _It's like a best friend_

I pace the waiting room, waiting for any news on Midoriya. My mind hurrying through different ways that this could end, that I didn't hear footsteps coming up beyond me.

"Young Todoroki, I think it is wise to get some fresh air, you are freezing everything in a three foot radius of yourself. Why don't you come with me?" All Might murmured.

"All Might, I did not notice you were behind me. I'm sorry" I look around me, he was right the walls, chairs, and plants that lined the narrow hallway was frosted over. "I'll fix this." I started to melt the ice and evaporated the puddles of water.

"Nice job, Young Todoroki. Please follow me." I hesitate. All Might's eyes soften "Don't worry my boy, he is doing fine, Recovery Girl is in there with the surgeon's, Young Midoriya will be okay." I drag my feet across the white tile floor. "Young Todoroki, I hate to ask this, but has a teacher I must. Did you know that Young Midoriya was thinking about suicide?" I shook my head. "It's alright, my boy, I don't think anyone did, I called his mother, and she… she was blind-side by this. If anyone should have seen the signs it should have been me." I look at him in confusion. "Young Todoroki, let's take a walk."

 _But more_

"Young Todoroki, whatever I am about to say to you, must stay between us. I told Midoriya this secret before and maybe this secret is a part of what happened today. Because he had no one to lean on. I must be clear, you must not tell anyone not even your father Endeavor. This is to protect you as well as Young Midoriya, do you understand?" All Might's voice shook.

"I understand."

 _It's the one person in the world_

"All Might I think I have everything, but I want to clarify one thing. You had said that Midoriya was born without a Quirk?" All Might nodded. "So, then he was Quirkless" I stated and All Might nodded once more. "All Might, sir, do you think that him being Quirkless lead to any bullying? Because sir, to be honest children especially preteens can be brutal with that kind of bullying and with the evolution of quirks strong kids pick on weaker ones…" A light bulb turned on in my head. "Katsuki Bakugo" I look at All Might and his eyes widen. "I know that Midoriya and Katsuki did not get along in junior high, sir." All Might's frame shook with anger.

"Will the family or guardian of Midoriya Izuku please come to the surgery's waiting room. I repeat. Will the family or guardian of Midoriya Izuku please come to the surgery waiting room"

Looking at All Might we both understand that the matter of Katsuki Bakugo will have to wait.

 _That knows you better than anyone else_

"Is the family or guardian of Midoriya Izuku present?" the nurse called.

"I am here" All Might bellowed.

"Oh Mr. All Might Sir, please come this way Recovery Girl would like to speak with you." All Might nodded in agreement.

"All Might Sir, can I come with you?" I managed to say. Again All Might eye's soften and I did not know why and he nodded. We were brought to a room that had recovery girl leaning against a couch.

"You do know how to pick them uh, Toshinori?" Recovery Girl sighed. "He is strong and tough. We almost lost him a couple of times, but he pulled threw and honestly I don't know how…." She trailed off as soon as she saw that All Might was not alone.

"It's okay Recovery Girl, I told him." All Might stated. She had a look of relief on her face. She then faced me and smiled. "He is tough that one!" she laughed and turned back to All Might.

"I don't how he did it, if it was One for All or a combination of One for All and Todoroki's quick thinking or if it was Todoroki who had saved him, but…" She trailed off as she looked at me, her eye widened in surprise but then mellowed out. "Todoroki, dear. Come here and let me wipe those tears." She grabbed my hand and pulled me into a bone crushing hug. That's when the dam broke, I felt a warm river run down both sides of my cheeks, noises I did not know I could make, started to flow out of my quivering mouth. "It's okay Todoroki, Midoriya is going to be okay, he is alive. Would you like to see him?" I nodded not trusting my own voice.

 _It's someone who makes you a better person_

I was lead to a room, tears still streaming down my face as I walk into a room, with a broken boy cover in bandages, IV's, and tubes. "It will take him some time, but he has the possibility to make a full recovery. Lucky we had someone on staff that can mend bone with their Quirk making it strong as steel. He will be stronger than he was before the sports festival." I slowly step into the room that smelled of anespic. Midoriya's body was covered with casts or gauze. "Right now, it's like his body lost a lot of blood and all of his bones are broken. My Quirk can't help him at this point. All he has to do for now is rest, he will have to go through multiple courses of physical therapy, but he will live to see another day." I choked back a sob as I heard the last of recovery girl's words, before I passed out from the stress and exhaustion on my Quirk.

 _Actually they don't make you a better person_

I grab Young Todoroki and carry him to the couch. "I was wondering when he was going to do this. It's been 36 hours since the accident." Recovery Girl said.

"Well I can't blame him, after what he heard before Midoriya jumped I would be stressed out too." I stated. "I only read the report, I wasn't there when Thirteen took the report from Young Todoroki." I laid the half and half teen down. "He just needs a good night's rest then he will be back to himself in the morning."

"You should do the same Toshinori." Recovery Girl stated.

"Look who's talking, you have been using your Quirk for the past 36 hours you need more sleep than I do." Recovery Girl laughed and then the room was silent that seemed like hours but one minutes passed. "I still can't believe this. What did I miss, Recovery Girl? There should have been sign, right? What did I do wrong?" I managed to say between sobs.

"Toshinori, you could not have seen this coming! I didn't even think about the scars on his arms when he came to my office last, if anyone should have noticed, it should have been me." sobbed the exhausted woman. We stayed crying in that room till the morning sun started to peek from the horizon. "Toshinori, come let us each find a bed and sleep with both need it." she grabbed my hand and we left the half and half teen and the broken boy sleep.

 _You do that yourself_

I open my eyes to see a white tile ceiling, my eyesight comes more into focus and I look to my right as I hear beeping. I stare at the green line that jumps with the rhythm of my pounding heart. I look down at my body and see it covered in casts and tubes. Ah I failed, I snickered in my head, I can't believe it. I wanted to scream but had no energy to do so. I cried since it was the only thing I could do.

 _Because they inspire you_

I woke to a muffled cry, slowly I raise my head to look at the boy in the bandages. "Midoriya?" Green eyes dart around the room. I fumbled to the floor and raced to his side. "Oh God Midoriya, you're alive! Nurse! Nurse someone go get Recovery Girl!" I exclaimed, I heard running and yelling, but I didn't care I looked back at the broken boy's face and saw indescribable sorrow. Tears rolling down his face, in agony because he knows he failed and will now have to live with that reality. "Midoriya Izuku!" I yelled, and his eyes widen in surprise and searched for my own. "I swear to god that you will never forget this moment." His eye narrowed in fear, of course he took it that way he averts his gaze to the annoying beeping machine. I grab his chin and force him to look at me. "Midoriya Izuku, I love you too." I seal his cold chapped lips with mine own.

 _A soulmate is someone who_

"I swear to god that you will never forget this moment" I hear him say. My body goes rigid with fear. No, I screamed to myself, you are the last person that I wanted to show this side too. I try to look at anywhere else beside your beautiful face. He grabs my face and brings it towards his own. I can't look at you, I'm sorry I shut my eyes tight.. I feel warm lips against mine, my eyes open in shock, I study his face that is now joined with mine, his face has no flaws and his scar is smooth. His lips depart and I miss them already. I stare at his unblinking eyes.

 _You can carry with your forever_

"Midoriya Izuku, I will never let you go through the same hardships you have had to endure." I yelled with so much emotion I didn't know I owned. Cradling the broken boy's face between my hands I continue to yell.

 _It's the one person who knew you_

"I will never let you say goodbye. I will never let frown." The nurses and doctors threw the door open demanding that I leave at once.

 _And accepted you and believed in you_

"You will never be alone again!" The nurses and doctors try to pull me away and fail

 _Before anyone else did_

"And do you know why, Midoriya Izuku!" I screamed.

 _Or when no one else would_

"It's because I love you too, so please," I finally broke down, tears streaming down my face "don't ever this again." The nurses grabbed me by my shirt and dragging me back. I look at his face one more time before the door is slammed in my face.

 _And no matter what happens_

He smiles, that smile of hope and joy that filled my heart with light the first time I saw it.

 _You will always love them_

I don't know if he had actually said anything since his room was so loud, but I saw him say.

 _Nothing can ever change that_

"Thank you"

* * *

Hello, It might take me a while to post the next few chapters, I know where I want them to go however, i need to organize my thoughts and get my stuff together. All chapters will follow a similar format, that includes a song. Please feel free to send me a music video/ or an animated short film on youtube. Either put the URL in the comments or send me a message! Love ya!


	3. How to Save a Life

Follow - Shouto X Deku AMV "How to save a live" by Mikutsi Chan Follows How to save a life - lyrics from the Fray.

 _Step one, you say we need to talk_

I stare at the ceiling, after the nurses pulled Todoroki out of the room, the room felt heavy. Doctors and nurses poking, prodding, asking, asking, ASKING! I didn't want to talk anyone. They figured out that I wasn't going to say anything, after they checked my monitors and tubes, they left me to my solitude. How could I fail? The building was tall enough and it was at the right time everyone should have been in the cafeteria. My mind was racing at everything that went wrong and I didn't hear the door open.

 _He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk_

I look at the broken boy in front of me. Tubes, IVs, gauze, casts litter his strong frame. He doesn't notice me coming in. I can see that his mind is racing his eyes staring straight forward and his lips quivering. I open my mouth but nothing comes out at first. I gather my courage and walk carefully forward. "Young Midoriya, We need to talk."

 _He smiles politely back at you_

 _You stare politely right on through_

 _Some sort of window to your right_

 _As he goes left, and you stay right_

My eyes race to the voice I know to well, my heart stills. He is the one person I don't want to see, he is the last person I want to see me like this. "All Might" I stumbled.

 _Between the lines of fear and blame_

 _You begin to wonder why you came_

 _Where did I go wrong?_

"All Might" he mumbles, I hear the heart rate monitor speed.

"Young Midoriya" I gathered my courage to come here but know I don't know where to start. "I-I-I don't know where to start, why didn't you tell me? Do you not trust me?"

 _I lost a friend_

I stare at All Might. My mentor looks ragged and run down, and looks completely defeated, I have really done it now I have lost his trust. "All Might, I didn't want you to see me like this. I thought I could get strong but I was wrong. I couldn't I had all this power but it didn't help me. I am not right person, All Might, you gave One for All to the wrong person, I am so sorry All Might. I am so sorry!" I bursted into tears.

 _Somewhere along in the bitterness_

 _And I would have stayed up with you all night_

 _Had I known how to save a life_

 _Let him know that you know best_

 _Cause after all, you do know best_

"Young Midoriya! YOU can be a hero! I did not make the wrong choice when I gave you One for All! You can still be a hero after all of this, you can get over this!" I yelled back, I do not agree with raising my voice at children but sometimes it can't be helped. He eyes widen and his mouth goes slack. "Midoriya, you can get better, you can get strong. I should have noticed the signs that something was wrong, but what is in the past is in the past all we can do is look towards the future. Together we can go Plus Ultra!" I sobbed.

 _Try to slip past his defense_

 _Without granting innocence_

 _Lay down a list of what is wrong_

 _The things you've told him all along_

I stare at my mentor, my crying mentor that is forcing a smile just for me. "All Might." I sobbed as well, he came towards me and pulled me into a gentle but warm embrace. "All Might I am so sorry, I am so sorry."

 _And pray to God he hears you_

 _And I pray to God he hears you_

 _Where did I go wrong?_

I peer into the room where i hear the sobs coming from. I give a weak smile and walk in. "Well Midoriya, It's good to see you awake."

 _I lost a friend_

 _Somewhere along in the bitterness_

 _And I would have stayed up with you all night_

 _Had I known how to save a life_

 _As he begins to raise his voice_

"Recovery Girl," I gazed at her she looked exhausted "I am so sorry, Recovery Girl, I am so sorry"

 _You lower yours and grant him one last choice_

 _Drive until you lose the road_

 _Or break with the ones you've followed_

"You have nothing to be sorry for Midoriya, I am so sorry that it got to this point. All Might is correct , you can be a hero Midoriya. You are needed. I need you, your friends need you, your mother needs you, and most of all, all the people you have and will save will need you!" Recovery Girl says through her trembling lips.

 _He will do one of two things_

 _He will admit to everything_

 _Or he'll say he's just not the same_

 _And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

 _Where did I go wrong?_

"Recovery Girl, is right, Midoriya. You are needed." My eyes dart towards Todoroki " I believe in you, both as a person but also as a Hero."

 _I lost a friend_

 _Somewhere along in the bitterness_

 _And I would have stayed up with you all night_

 _Had I known how to save a life_

 _Where did I go wrong?_

 _I lost a friend_

I don't know to respond to them, Recovery Girl, All Might, and Todoroki. They have been here the entire time, but I didn't see that I had so many caring people around me. I'm in tears when Recovery Girl and All Might laid a hand on my shoulders I look at them and then my eyes land on Todoroki with a smile.

 _Somewhere along in the bitterness_

 _And I would have stayed up with you all night_

 _Had I known how to save a life_

Everything was looking up and I saw a ray of hope. The door slammed open and there stood my mother, her eyes puffy and red. Her hair messy and her makeup smudged. I looked at her and mentally sighed. Well here comes more tears, I chuckled to myself.

 _How to save a life_

 _How to save a life_

* * *

OMG I am so sorry that this is late. I was having a really hard time writing this chapter. this chapter is weird im sorry about that. I was gather info about how to help someone who failed to commit suicide... I had no experience in that field, I have alot though in midoriyas pov... I know that this chapter was kinda akaward and forced but it well get better from here on out... Next chapter- AllMight & Todoroki vs Kacchan


	4. You Can Be King Again

Follows-"YOU CAN BE KING AGAIN..." II BNHA AMV by • PapuCino • Song is King by Lauren Aquilina. Hope you like it!

 _ **You're alone, you're on your own, so what?**_

 _ **Have you gone blind?**_

By the time Recovery Girl came into the room, I was a mess. Not being able to wipe my tears or nose, my face was wet. My face puffy from the constant crying and runny sinus, my eyes red with the stream of tears that flowed when I was talking my mother. My throat raw from steady wails that met my mother's own. The doctor's came in and told my mother that I needed rest and that they needed to talk with her. Recovery Girl closed the door after my mother left, she walked over to my bedside and started with messing with the IV's. We sat like that for a while before Recovery Girl's lips started to quiver.

"Midoriya, I'm so…." She started.

"Recovery Girl! It's not your fault," I yelled in a hoarse tone "It's not your fault. It was mine and mine alone. I wasn't thinking, and maybe that is why my thoughts lead me to that rooftop… But I don't think that's right either, I knew that if I talked with you or with All Might I could get help. I thought if I did that I would seem weak. And I talked with my mom, she would hurt Kacchan…." My mumbling stopped in realization that I outed Kacchan. I look at Recovery Girl with wide eyes. I was going to start talking when Recovery Girl held her hand up.

"So Todoroki was correct, then?" She mumbled. " Midoriya I need you to be honest with me. Did Bakugou Katsuki bully you in anyway?"

"Kacchan!-" I started.

"Midoriya, I just need you to be honest right now. We can talk about why later, but I need to know did Bakugou Katsuki bully you?"

I look into her eyes, they are laced with worry and I also she disbelief. "Yes he did." Her eyes freeze with terror.

"Midoriya, what did he say or do to you?"

"Well it started when I found out I was Quirkless."

 _ **Have you forgotten what you have and what is yours?**_

 _ **Glass half empty, glass half full**_

"I feel like the only reason the bullying didn't stop when I was accepted into U.A. is because Kacchan believed I was Quirkless, which I was. However, he thought that I lied to him all this time. I feel like it had gotten alot better than it was in middle school, when he told me to jump off the roof and be reborn with a Quirk...But Recovery Girl, I don't want Kacchan to get into trouble because of me." She looked like she was going to interrupt but I continued anyways. "Kacchan has a great Quirk for Hero Work, I don't want him to lose his chance at becoming a hero because of my mistake. So please, I don't care how you do it I just want the people who know that Kacchan bullied me to know, and that's it. Kacchan has gotten a lot softer since we enter U.A. and he has worked so far to get here. I don't want this to ruin his future. I did this on my own accord, I did not take Kacchan's advice that he gave me. I don't want to ruin him." I mumbled throw my tears. "I don't care how you do it Recovery Girl, but I don't want him to get in trouble. I don't care but dont ruin him for my mistakes!" Recovery Girl looked at me, and for once I can't read her. She went to one of IV bags and injected a clear liquid into it.

"I can't promise anything, a lot of people saw you jump. And I know that Todoroki and All Might have a thing for Katsuki, but I will try my hardest to keep your request. Now rest dear, your body may be healed but you did lose a lot of blood. Just rest I will talk with All Might and the principle, now rest child you need it." And with those words I drifted off to sleep.

 _ **Well either way you won't be going thirsty**_

 _ **Count your blessings not your flaws**_

I look down at this fragile boy that was but into my hands with the trust of his mother and his friends. I stare in amazement because this boy that is covered in IV's and bandages, still manages to put his thoughts of the person who bullied him for years, put that person's future above his own emotions. "Toshinori, you picked the perfect successor." I hear a small voice from behind me. I twirl around and see the principal.

"Oh sir, how long have you been there?" I question as I wipe my tears.

"Long enough I would say. Don't worry about All Might and Todoroki I will take care of them. However about Young Midoriya's request, even I don't know to take that. As principal I can't accept that this bullying has gotten this far, but that said his teachers in the primary school should hold some responsibility. And I don't know how we will deal with the media on this. After I saw Midoriya jump I ordered Cemtoss to block the area from other student's and when I questioned the student's that saw him jump, they saw someone jump but they didn't know who. So we only need to worry about is the teachers that were on scene and a few students that knew that the jumper was Midoriya, which is the entire Hero 1-A class. I hate to say this Recovery Girl, but to honor Midoriya request we will have to say it was an accident. We will have to talk with Young Midoriya when he wakes up, but Katsuki Bakugou will have to have some repercussions about all of this, maybe demoting him to class B, but that might cause more bullying. Which ever we will talk about this is when he wakes up, now come Recovery Girl you are a mess."

 _ **You've got it all**_

 _ **You lost your mind in the sound**_

I can hear noises from when I fall into my medicated-induced sleep. I can see everything that has happened since I was found out the I was Quirkless.

 _ **There's so much more**_

 _ **You can reclaim your crown**_

 _ **You're in control**_

Ever word that Kacchan said to me, every action.

 _ **Rid of the monsters inside your head**_

 _ **Put all your faults to bed**_

I can see every opportunity to that I didn't take to get help, while I don't regret them. I do wish I could tell my younger self that it gets better.

 _ **You can be king again**_

I remember the homework that EraserHead gave us, the letter to our past self.

' _Dear Past Izuku,  
So many things has happened since the sludge monster attack. I got a Quirk do you believe it! I met our hero, All Might, and long story short he is the reason we have a Quirk right now. It will get better so stay strong.' _

I wish I would have turned in it in, because I in the end I was right it does get better.

 _ **You don't get what all this is about**_

All of the students of U.A Hero Course Class 1-A where brought into a small conference room. The only student was missing was on Midoriya Izuku. I look at their faces and they understand why I brought them to this room, what we are about to talk about. I look at EraserHead and Present Mic and nod, this was going to be rough, especially with one particular Half and Half student. There was a low mummer in the room as the student's settled into their seats.

"Everyone shut up, the President is going to start." I nod in EraserHeads direction in appreciation.

"Before we start, I want every to agree that if you have any questions or concerns that you wait until I am done talking. Does everyone agree?" Their heads nod in agreement. I take a deep breathe this is going to be hard.

"I know that everyone in this room saw that the person who jumped off the roof of U.A exactly one week ago, it was none other than your classmate Midoriya Izuku." Gasps and horrified expression litter their faces. "I know it was hard but I want to thank you for not telling the media of his identity. The only reason I had you keep quite was at Young Midoriya's request." Questions started to form on their lips but I held my hand up to stop them. "I know you have questions but please refrain until I'm done."

 _ **You're too wrapped up in your self doubt**_

 _ **You've got that young blood, set it free**_

"I know that I am burdening you even more with this information that I am going to share with you however this was a compromise between Midoriya Izuku and myself. I can guess that you know that the media was given a false report, that Midoriya accidentally fell off the roof of U.A. was a lie." I look at there mixed expressions. I can see Todoroki shoot icy glares across the room at a seemly broken Katsuki, I mentally sigh I am glad that I stationed Eraserhead with Todoroki, because if I hadn't this would be pointless. " The compromise I made with Midoriya was that I would tell the students that witnessed his fall, I would tell them the real reason."

 _ **You've got it all**_

 _ **You lost your mind in the sound**_

I look at their faces and wonder if I should really tell them. "One week ago, Midoriya Izuku jumped off the roof of U.A. to commit suicide. He was in the mindset to end his life that day." I heard wails, gasps, and not so silent tears fall as I finish my sentence. "Midoriya has been a victim of bullying ever since he was four years old when he found out that he was born without a quirk, he was born Quirkless. As I can see on your faces that you are confused, Midoriya has a very rare condition. He is the only the fifth person to be diagnosed with it, he quirk is so strong that his Quirk doesn't manifest at age four like most Quirks, but since his Quirk is so powerful his body delayed his Quirk until he was older. Now you probably want to know why I am telling you this. Since Midoriya was four years old he has been under the pressure of constant bullying from a classmate of his." Eyes shoot to Katsuki.

 _ **There's so much more**_

 _ **You can reclaim your crown**_

 _ **You're in control**_

"That classmate of his has been removed from his Hero Course in his course in China. After he heard the news about Midoriya he dropped out of his Hero course and has yet to be heard from." There eyes return to me, thankfully that lie will keep obvious eyes away from Katsuki. "I want everyone in this room and I mean everyone. To think about what your actions about how your words can affect someone, I'm not say that there has been bullying in this class but I want you to all learn from this experience. It doesn't matter what you are going through or if you think differently of someones ideals, please think before you speak. You don't know what other people are going through, and you might think yeah I know exactly what they are thinking. You don't. People who are going threw this kind of mental turmoil can hide very well."

 _ **Rid of the monsters inside your head**_

 _ **Put all your faults to bed**_

 _ **You can be king**_

"I am not going to say this to make you feel bad but to make a point. Did anyone that countless self inflicted scars that Midoriya put on his body? Or the signs that he was going to commit suicide? You don't know what people are going through, you can't guess what they are thinking. So please if you are ever in a situation like this please think, if you don't think you can help the person find someone you can." I look at the students of Class 1-A, so many emotions. So many students crying or trying to put on a brave front. "I know that this is a lot to take in, so Class 1-A is not to come to class for the next week not to learn but to talk with counselors or talk among classmates or if you wish to stay home that is your wish." Their faces look broken, their eyes staring at the floor.

 _ **There's method in my madness**_

 _ **There's no logic in your sadness**_

 _ **You don't gain a single thing from misery**_

 _ **Take it from me**_

"Now to the most important news of all, the condition of Young Midoriya." All eyes on return to me. "Young Midoriya, has made a complete recovery, likely there was a doctor on staff at the hospital that can mend bone, however the bones had to break naturally for the doctor's Quirk to work. When Midoriya hit the concrete, every bone in his body broke, but he survived due to your diligence and quick thinking under a stressful situation. He is currently leaving the hospital today, with his mother. At the request of Midoriya's family we ask you to refrain from contacting them until monday when Midoriya will be returning to class."

 _ **You've got it all**_

 _ **You lost your mind in the sound**_

 _ **There's so much more**_

 _ **You can reclaim your crown**_

"If you have any questions or concerns please come to one of the teacher that is in this room. Which is myself, Recovery Girl, EraserHead, Present Mic, Cemtoss, and All Might. If you would like to speak with a counselor please let us know we will have them onsite all of next week if you want to talk to them. Now does anyone have any questions?"

 _ **You're in control**_

 _ **Rid of the monsters inside your head**_

 _ **Put all your faults to bed**_

 _ **You can be king**_

One lone hand raises to the air. "Asui-san what is your question?"

"When you told us that we must keep this a secret, does that mean from a parents? Our follow classmates in the support, hero and other classes?"

 _ **You've got it all**_

 _ **You lost your mind in the sound**_

 _ **There's so much more**_

 _ **You can reclaim your crown**_

"That is a good question, and the answer is yes. This is Midoriya's request, so I will say it again, please refrain from tell anyone anything what had happened within this room." I look at their distraught faces. "You are all exhausted, please try not to thinking about what has happened. I will see you all on Monday. If any teachers or student's would like to say something say it now." The room is quite and I was about to dismiss the students when All Might steps up.

"I know this is hard for you to swallow, but when Young Midoriya returns to class on Monday, we need to treat him like it would be any other day of the week before this all began. What Young Midoriya needs to see is that you don't treat him any differently, don't coddle him. He is in enough pain and is worrying about everything else except for himself. What we need to do is to show him out biggest smiles on Monday and show him that his is loved. We need to show him that he can go PLUS ULTRA!"

 _ **You're in control**_

 _ **Rid of the monsters inside your head**_

 _ **Put all your faults to bed**_

 _ **You can be king again**_

* * *

I know I promised you KacchanVSAllMight&Todoroki but I heard this song on youtube and felt that this needed to come first. And thank you for being patience with my updates I recently found out that my family is gaining a member! The baby is due end of September so please be patient with me. Also I am really sorry if there are alot of mistakes in this chapter. I have been fighting a headache ever since I started writing this chapter. Please please leaving comments they make me happy! Thank you and I hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	5. Go the Distance

I really hate when authors do with but I wanted to give you guys and update. I feel the best when I vent and I am sorry I try to post a new chapter every month but as you can see for the month of April I didn't post anything. My family has been grieving, and I am so sorry that I didn't update when I had the time. but if you read the foot-note at the end of chapter 4 you would've notice that I announced that I was pregnant. I had a miscarriage at 14 weeks. It hit me really hard and I tried to put my emotions on paper but it didn't really help. This can go either one of three ways. you guys ignore it, your guys support me, or you shame me. I hate to say it that way but thats how it goes. I don't want pity. I just wanted to let you guys know why I was away for so long.

The new chapter (Chapter 5) is about half way done, it follows Disney's Hercules - Go the Distance.

I want to say that it will be up this week. but most likely will be up end of this week early next week. I am also writing out chapter 6 so hopefully you guys will get 2 chapters this month. ill keep you guys posted.

P.S I am also think about writing a VILLAIN DEKU story, do you guys have any plot bunnies you think I might like?

P.S.S I also got a new job, I work 1st shift now so posting will most likely be during the day not at night like this.

Thank you for the continuous support,

BL-chan

* * *

Sorry for the OC-ness… All characters should go back to normal next chapter. And I know that this chapter might be a little rushed in terms of time line, but theres a reason for that. 1) to move on with the story and 2) secrets! : :D

Follows My Hero Academia - Go the Distance by Shade1214 on YouTube.

 **-Go the Distance -**

"Izuku, sweetie. Are you sure that you want to go back today?" My mother inquired. "I have no problem to call you in today."

"Mom I'm fine. All Might is meeting me on the way. He has your number he will tell you if I have a panic attack." I told her, I know she is worried but I need to get on with my life. "Mom, I know you're worried but they deserve.. No I need to face them, it's been two weeks since I tried to kill myself." I pause and I see her flinch. "But mom they are my friends, I want them to see that I'm doing better."

"Is Katsuki going to be there?" My mom growled.

"Mom we have been over this, I don't blame him. I know you do, but just don't. This is my choice, I will let you know even if he speaks to me. I doubt that Todoroki will even let him be near him, Todoroki has your number as well. Mom, I am leaving now or I'm going to be late." I said as I walk out the door.

" Well, that does make me feel better….Izuku don't run off on me I wasn't done with y.." her voice quieted at the sound of the door meeting its metal frame.

 _ **I have often dreamed,**_

 _ **Of a far off place**_

 _ **Where a great, warm welcome**_

 _ **Would be waiting for me**_

As I descended from the final step of my apartment building, I stop and breathe. Taking in this moment, a moment I thought would never happen again. The crunching of my red sneakers against the cool morning cement, the low buzz of the awakening city, the smell of cut grass as I walk past the park, the sweet taste of the bakery doors that open with each customer, and the other student from different high schools meeting with their friends on their way to school. With each passing step a new emotion floods into my system, every couple of steps I take a deep breathe to center myself. I find myself daydreaming and lose track of time, when I looked at my phone I realize that I'm almost late to meet with All Might with this new sense of urgency I quicken my pace to rush to All Might.

 _ **Where the crowds will cheer**_

 _ **When they see my face**_

 _ **And a voice keeps saying**_

 _ **This is where I'm meant to be**_

 _ **I will find my way**_

 _ **I can go the distance**_

I glance at my phone for the millionth time growing more concerned with each passing second, Izuku is never late. _He isn't technically late yet_ , I thought to myself, _but he usually gets here early just in case if a villain attacks and then he would have extra time…_ while my back and forth banter contines inside of my head I didn't notice that a one Izuku Midoriya appeared in front of me. I jump in shock as I see a messy head of green curly hair enter my vision.

"All Might, is everything okay? He asks as a I clutch my heart from the sudden appearance.

"Ah, Young Midoriya, yes I am fine you just startled me that's all. How are you doing on this fine morning?" He opens his mouth to start speaking then shuts it when he doesn't know what to answer. "Let's walk Young Midoriya." Starting at a slow pace, we fall into rhythm.

"All Might…" I glance at him "I don't really know how I am… I mean honestly, four weeks ago I selling selling all of my stuff so mom would have extra money after I was gone. Three weeks ago I was planning how I should kill myself and two weeks ago I acted on that plan. I feel like this isn't real, I feel like I did die that day or that I didn't and I'm in a coma and I'm dreaming all of this. I feel like everything is too perfect, that something is gonna go wrong."

"Midoriya" I stated "You are alive! Do you feel this?" I ask as I flick his forehead.

"Oww"

"That pain means you're here, right where I need you, right where your mother wants you to be, and right in front of all your friends. If you need to name all of the people who need you say their name to center yourself, but remember that people you list are only the people you have meet so far and you meet so many more as a person and as a hero. I will say it again and I will say it a thousand times if I have to. You are strong and you are needed. Now come Young Midoriya as I welcome you again to your hero academia."

 _ **I'll be there someday**_

 _ **If I can be strong**_

 _ **I know every mile**_

 _ **Will be worth my while**_

 _ **I will go almost anywhere**_

 _ **To feel like I belong**_

I stare at the giant doors of U.A.'s Class 1-A of the Hero Division, and I feel my start to panic, and I remember what All Might said earlier _If you need to name all of the people who need you say their name to center yourself,_ I place my clammy hand against the cool metal. Closing my eyes I start listing names. Iida, Denki, Asui, Toru, Uraraka, Kirishima, Ashido, Shouto… Kacchan, _but remember that people you list are only the people you have meet so far and you meet so many more as a person and as a hero._ Every person I am going to help, every person I am going to aspire to be a hero and every person I make a connection with. I'm not just doing this for myself I am doing it for them. I slam the door open and everyone stares and the room goes quiet.

 _ **I am on my way**_

 _ **I can go the distance!**_

 _ **I don't care how far**_

 _ **Somehow I'll be strong**_

 _ **I know every mile will be worth my while**_

I can do this. I am doing this for myself. I am doing it for them. I am going to conquer this. I. AM. STRONG.

 _ **I would go most anywhere to find where I belong**_

"I-I-I'm back."

* * *

This is really random, but i have a question for you guys. If Toga uses her quirk on Toru, does Toga turn invisible? I mean toga quirk just copies appearance but Toru is invisible because of her quirk, right? How would you guys handle this situation?

With Love

BL-Chan


	6. All Time Low

BakuDeku (勝デク) / all time low moenochrome

You are either going to love me or hate me by the end of this chapter I'm sorry 3

* * *

Bakugo POV

Everyone rushes towards him. I take a hesitant step forward but find no opening to speak to him, to say something, to do something. I sit back down, not knowing what to say.

"Bakugo, are you alright man?" Someone asked.

"Shitty-h...K-Kirishima. I'm fine. I just wanted to make sure that nerd….I wanted to make sure that Izuku was alright."

"Is this about we were talking about the other day?" the redhead asked.

 _ **I was the knight in shining armor in your movie**_

 _ **Would put your lips on mine and love the aftertaste**_

"OIO, why did you call me into your office? Why is Shitty hair here? Why is half-n-half here?" I yelled at our rodent president, only to feel ice at my throat. "Oio what the hell, half-n-half?"

"Shut your fucking mouth once in your life Katsuki!" I stare at the half-n-half teen in front of me, no one has ever stood up against me like that before. "Once in your life, think before you fucking speak and read the room for god sake!"

"All right Young Todoroki, that is enough! Melt the ice, I don't need another student in the hospital." the teen was reluctant to melt the ice but did so. "This is stressful enough for everyone, Young Bakugo was on the other side of U.A. when Young Midoriya had his accident." The rodent president stated.

"Why the would I care that, the shitty nerd got hurt again? He probably deserved it, he has been getting really cocky lat-"

THAWCK

I felt a fire punch to the side of my face before I felt the ice binding my to the wall. Everything happened so fast that I had no time to react. I had half-n-half ice covering my body before i could get out a single word out. I felt the heat of his flames right above my face.

"For Fuck Sakes, Katsuki! SHUT THE FUCK UP! This is your fault! I should have put a stop shit earlier, it's your fault he's in the fucking hospital!I shoul-"

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" The rodent president demanded. "Young Todoroki, you are in this room per Izuku's wishes. But one more outbreak from you and I will make you leave you the room!" The teen grunted in response and backed away from the frozen teen. "And you Young Bakugo, I advise you to take your classmates advice and shut up!" my eye freeze on the president I nodded in response.

"All right. To answer your questions Young Bakugo you are here, Todoroki, Bakugo, and Kirishima. As a part of a deal I made with Young Midoriya. I understand that you know what had happened?" we nodded "That statement is false, I made a deal with Midoriya that everyone in this room will know the full and whole truth and that truth must stay in this room. Young Todoroki, release Bakugo from the ice thank you."

I fall from the wall as the ice melts from my chest and walk to the middle of the room.

"Young Todoroki is here to give you a letter from Midoriya, Bakugou. I want to say thing before I want to say something to Bakugou. I just want to let you know, that through this entire ordeal that Young Midoriya was thinking about your future Bakugo. He was extremely adamant that you would not be punished for this, you have an extremely good friend Bakugo. If I were you I would treasure that friend, that brings me to the reason that Young Kirishima is here for. Midoriya wanted you to have support through this and he has notice that Kirishima is the only one of your classmates that can fit the bill. Now that I have answered your questions, can I get to the point why you were called here?"

I nod.

"Good! Now I have to tell you this will a heavy heart, but Bakugo and Kirishima, you were brought here to the learn the truth about Midoriya's accident. To the media and everyone of U.A. exempt for class 1A and a handful of 1B students. One Midoriya Izuku fell off the roof of UA when he tripped on his shoe lace. However, the true reason that Midoriya was on the roof was…" he pauses and breathes deeply. "Was that he jumped off the roof with the intention to end his life. He tried to kill himself. Now Young Todoroki, please give Bakugo the letter, and please leave." My breathing has stopped, images run threw my head. Words, words, words, actions, actions, actions, hurtful, hurtful, HURTFUL WORDS.

" _If you wanna be a hero that badly, there's a quick way to do it. Believe that you'll be born with a Quirk in your next life and take a last chance dive off the roof!"_

I notice an envelope thrusted into my face. "Here, I promised Izuku that I would try to be nice to you as soon as he was discharged from the hospital. But he hasn't been yet, so let me say one thing. He wrote this the morning he jumped. I don't want to stoop to your leave Katsuki, but for god sakes think before you speak, your actions and words have concounques. Think about that, Izuku has only ever wanted to be your friend, but what were you to him?" Todoroki whispered and left.

"Bakubro, you doing all right, man? Your crying." Kirishima asked. When he said that a dam broke.

"H-he's right! OMG, what HAVE I DONE. I all most killed DEKU! I Bullied, him I HURT him!" I scream and sobbed out.

"WHOA, take it easy man! It-"

"You dont understand, Shitty-hair. I told him to throw himself of the roof once before. _Believe that you'll be born with a Quirk in your next life and take a last chance dive off the roof!_ I told him to kill himself. Oh my god, i can't be a hero if i told someone to kill themself."

"Shit, okay just breathe dude. I can see why Midoriya wanted me here, I don't like what you did but I didn't know you back then. I only know that Bakugu I know now. He won't give up this easily, tell me what happened dude, we can work this out. Now talk to me." I continue to sob into his shoulder.

 _ **Lost I'm a ghost, I call your name, you look right through me**_

 _ **You're the reason that I just can't concentrate**_

"Yeah, it is. I know that not everyone believes the the story that the teachers told us. I want to say so many things. I want to answer so many of his question that he wrote me. I just don't know where to start. I feel like if i try to approach him everyone will be on guard, and I don't want to stress him out any more that he is."

"Wait, he's stressed out? How can you tell?" Kirishima asks.

"Look at this hands, they are either running threw his hair on the back of his head or he is playing with the hem of his shirt. His eyes are trying to focus on the person who is speaking, but they are darting around when another group is having and side conversation, he thinks that they are talking about what happened. But every time his eyes land on half-n-Todoroki he calms down a bit, his breathing calms a bit."

"Whoa dude, I didn't know that you were that observant. I kinda that that was Midoriya's thing." Kirishima joked.

"Idiot, I grew up with him I know when he is stressed…" I trailed off.

"Bakugo, dude come back to me. You read his letter right? Did you follow the advice I gave you? I know it seems a bit girly but it helps me out a lot. How about we walk over and give him the letter together, other people got some letters too. I got one after I left you that day, it went on and on how to improve my hero costume and how a great hero I would be. I kinda wrote back to him too, asking why he picked me to help you. He said I was friendly but I want o know why he trusted me to help you out you know. We both walk over there and give him the letters, and that will start the conversation, alright. I doesn't have to be long. Just start the conversion and leave it open, i know you want to set stuff straight but let him come to you on that alright ,bro? Just let him know that you are available anytime anywhere alright? Okay, let's do this grab your letter and lets go."

 _ **I, I've been trying to fix my pride**_

 _ **But that shit's broken, that shit's broken**_

 _ **Lie (lie, lie), lie, l-lie, I try to hide**_

 _ **But now you know it**_

"Dear Kacchan,

I know you are going to have a hard time with this, I just wanted to let you know that I don't blame you. I did not take your advice you gave me in middle school. I've been dealing with this before you had said that. I have to say you did hurt me, the bullying didn't make it any easier but I still feel like you can the greatest hero! I wish we could go back to the old days when we use to play heros in the park. I want those days back Kacchan. I've always wanted to able to talk with you on equal footing. I want to be your friend again Kacchan. I've always want to talk about which hero agency you where going to apply for after you graduate. I wanted to ask you about your internship with Blue Jeanist. I wanted to fight villains next you Kacchan. All I wanted is to brag that I'm friends with Bakugo Katsuki Japans #1 HERO. I wanted to compete with you for the #1 spot. I want to say sorry that I wasn't strong enough to ask you those things. I know you would yell at me but I did it anyways. I'm being selfish and asing Kirishima to look after you after I'm gone. I know your not the best with your emotion, but Kirishima has been the only one that you would call a friend, and don't deny kacchan! I just want to make sure you can be a hero for the both of us.

That's about it, I am sorry that I can't be strong enough for you kacchan. On the back there's somes ideas I had about your hero costume.

Plus ULTRA

I'm sorry Kaachan. I wasn't strong enough to be at your side.

Your friend,

Izuku Midrioya"

 _ **That I'm at an all time**_

 _ **Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low**_

 _ **Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low**_

 _ **I'm at an all time low**_

"Dear Midoriya,

Thanks for the advice on my hero costume! We will have to go to the support class together! I really don't know what to say man. I should have notice something, I should have been a better friend, I wanted to ask why you pick me to Bakugo? I mean I'm friendly to everyone in class but I was trying to break down some of his walls so he could be friends with everyone… Bakugo told me everything what happened between you two. I can't say what I think about his behavior in the past cause I really don't know what to do… Just let me if you need anything man, I am always here for you.

Thanks for the advice and the trust to leave Bakugo with me.

Yours truly,

Eijiro Kirishima"

 _ **Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low**_

 _ **Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low**_

 _ **I'm at an all time low**_

"Dear Izuku,

I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.I'm sorry.

Please if you can find the kindness in your heart I would like to talk you about what happened when I bullied you. I am so sorry. I know you don't want to hear that but I feel like I should say it. Thank you for everything.

I just wanted to let you know that you can talk to me anytime. I don't deserve to be a hero after everything I put you through. I'm going to believe in the words that you wrote to me. I'm dragging you to the support department so we can go over the hero costume you designed.

Just let me know we you want to talk. I'll be free when ever.

Your friend,

Katsuki Bakugo"

 _ **Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low**_

 _ **Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low**_

We grab our letters and slowly make it across the room. He is sitting on his desk his fingers digging into wood turning his knuckles white. He forces a smile when he tries to make small talk with round face.

"Yo Midoriya! We got something for you." All eyes turn towards us. I feel roundrace glare at me. I see that Todoroki moves closer to him.

"We just wanted to give these to you, and to say that we are glad your okay, right Bakugo?" He stated as he handed him his letter.

"I-I-" I stammer to get the words out of my mouth, I'm staring at his desk. I feel a nudge from Kirishima. I let my eyes draw over his broken form, bandages litter his body, his right arm in a sling, and the red sunken eyes of his pale freckled face. I feel my eyes start to water… _I did this I did this to him_ my head is racing. Tears flowing from my eyes.

"K-K-Kachhan?"

 _ **I'm at an all time**_

"I-I-I'm glad that your okay…..Izuku"

* * *

And there! It took me forever to write this. I've been rewriting this chapter for the past 2 months and it finally came out okay.

Thanks for being patient with me!

Love, BLXChan


	7. Heavy

Boku no Hero Academia Season 2 - AMV | Heavy - Linkin Park feat. Kiiara -Youtuber PV AMV. OMG I'm so sorry! I'm not really happy with song that goes with this chapter. I tried to look for a song but nothing really clicked. I might rewrite. I really wanted to show this particular side of Izuku. Sorry if this sucks 3 3

* * *

Izuku POV

I stare at the crying, trembling, mumbling mess before me, I hesitantly take the letter from his quivering hand.

 _ **I don't like my mind right now  
Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary  
Wish that I could slow things down  
I wanna let go but there's comfort in the panic  
And I drive myself crazy  
Thinking everything's about me  
Yeah, I drive myself crazy  
'Cause I can't escape the gravity  
I'm holding on  
Why is everything so heavy?**_

"T-Th-Thanks, K-Kacchan." the hysterical sobs hiccup to a stop. "K-Kacchan, I meant every word in my letter. Regardless, of what people think of you I believe you can be a great hero! -And thank you Kirishima I'll read this and I'll get back to you." I smile weakly. My heart can't take much more of this, I'm going into a panic attack. Smile, just SMilE, EVERYTHING IS going to be OKay, everything is going to be fine. I just need to focus on my breathing, I just need to center myself again. I JUST NEE-

"OI, ICY HOT, come here I need to say something." I hear Kacchan grumble. OH God are they going to start fighting I can't handle this, I should have listened to mom and All Might. I should have taken some time. I focus on Shouto, fear in my heart, I don't want him hurt. My chest hurts. It hurts so much. It hurts to breathe, I can't... They meet oh god here it comes.

 _ **Holding on  
So much more than I can carry  
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down  
If I just let go, I'd be set free  
Holding on  
Why is everything so heavy?  
You say that I'm paranoid  
But I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me  
It's not like I make the choice  
To let my mind stay so fucking messy  
I know I'm not the center of the universe  
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same**_

JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE. I see Kacchan motion Shouto to come closer. His mouth moves. I CaN't HeaR, WHAT IS HE SAYING? JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE. Lips moving I can't hear… _look at his chest, its- damn it icy hot!- if you lo- do someth- look- hands ar-eyes are dial- breathing is shal- he's forcing that smi- go over ther-_ my vision becomes blurry, oh god I'm about to pass out 'cause of a panic attack!

 _ **I'm holding on  
Why is everything so heavy?  
Holding on  
So much more than I can carry  
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down  
If I just let go, I'd be set free  
Holding on  
Why is everything so heavy?  
I know I'm not the center of the universe  
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same  
I know I'm not the center of the universe  
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same  
And I drive myself crazy  
Thinking everything's about me**_

JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE.  
JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE.  
JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE.  
JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE.  
JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE.  
JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE.

JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE

JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE

JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE

JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE

JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE

JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY IF yoU SMilE

JuST SMilE EveRYThiNG wILl BE OKaY -

 _ **I know I'm not the center of the universe  
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same  
Holding on  
Why is everything so heavy?  
Holding on  
So much more than I can carry  
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down  
If I just let go, I'd be set free**_

WARMTH

CRISP

I feel a warmth slid into my hand, I feel ice caress my check.

Shouto.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Feel don't think feel what is happening right now, not what's in past.

Focus.

Focus.

Focus.

My vision slowly returns to normal, my hearing is muffled but I can make out most of what is being said. My eyes focus on Shouto's face, studying every facet, every blemish, his heterochromic eyes pierced my being. He staring at me and grounds me to UA, to Class 1A, to my desk, to him, to myself….

"T-T-Thanks." I whisper.

He smiles. "No problem."

I stare past his shoulder to where Kacchan is. His eyes- I've never seen him like this before his eyes. Before I can name what emotions run through his eyes, he smirks.. No he smiles and walks away.

 _ **Holding on**_

 _ **Why is everything so heavy?**_

 _ **Why is everything so heavy?**_

 _ **Why is everything so heavy?**_

* * *

What did you think? It sucked right…. I don't like this, I'm open to suggestions?

Thanks, BLXChan


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